What has happened to our “And we lived happily ever after?” The current divorce rate in West is between 40 and 50%. Why? Have we lost our ability to love and live together? No, it is because the purpose of marriage has dramatically changed over the last few decades. In the old days, marriages were primarily economical arrangements. Amongst royalty, it was used to extend power, by affiliating families and their possessions.

For example, through marriage there was a merger between the British and Dutch royal families. This made them allies. For ordinary people, it was important to ensure the man was able to earn enough, so his wife could stay at home and raise the brood. The divorce rate was much lower back then, but were people really much happier in their relationships? I don’t know, but I do know many women stayed in the marriage even if they were unhappy, because they were financially dependent on their husbands. Now that many women are economically independent, this purpose has fallen by the wayside. If we want to live happily ever after, we need to replace the old economical arrangement for a new fulfilling partnership. What will make a relationship fulfilling? One vital element is mutual love/respect. Most of us know that and focus on the love side of the relationship and completely overlook the second element.

The Vital Relationship Key

The equally important second element of the relationship is that both parties must have a sense of achievement regarding their aspirations. (Let’s call this our need to grow. From now on when I use the word growth, I refer to having new experiences and/or developing our skills.) Some of these aspirations need to be shared by both parties, to prevent us from growing apart. These two elements together form The Vital Relationship Key to making relationships fulfilling! If one of these two elements is absent for one party, one or both parties will be unhappy and the relationship will fail, because it is not fulfilling. This key is essential for both personal and business relationships!

The reality is we all have some relationships whereby the other party does not take into consideration our need for both love and growth. For example they treat us disrespectfully or prevent us from growing. What do we do then? Do we walk away or is it still possible to live happily ever after? In most cases walking away, is not the solution. There are ways to ensure our needs are met. In this book we will explain with many practical, down to earth techniques and examples, how to ensure that both our love and growth needs are met.

When relationships are fulfilling, we perceive them as high quality. This is very important, because the quality of our relationships determines to a very large extent our quality of life. No matter how rich we are, if we don’t have fulfilling relationships, we will not be really happy. As the same rules apply to both, personal and business relationships, our main focus will be on personal relationships. References to business relationships will only be made when there are differences.

In this work you will find practical, down to earth solutions to take full responsibility for the love and growth in your life, so that your experience happy ever after.

Hanna Kok is the author of Happy Ever After - Building relationships from the Inside Out.  This book has a fresh approach to the skills of good relationships, so necessary in today's stressful world.  She is also a Brain Gym instructor and an expert in Educational Kinesiology (Edu-K).  She currently leads a busy practice in Johannesburg helping many families and groups through her transformational workshops and programmes.  For more information about Hanna please visit www.makealife.co.za

Upcoming Workshops by Hanna Kok

Happy Ever After: Relationships, with Hanna Kok

March 12th - 14th, 2010

Our relationships directly affect our quality of life.  For any relationship to be exciting, meaningful and fun, we need two components, love/respect and growth.  If we take full responsibility to bring these two elements into our relationships, they will flourish.  (Read More)